Rushing from one event to another, chasing deadline after deadline, I find myself enslaved to time, and I am noticing the side-effects rather pronouncedly. This is the first moment in three days that I am properly calming down, taking time for myself, without the next appointment on my schedule haunting me.
Recently, this saying has been on my mind a lot. Contemplating about it, I realised that as a child, even as a teenager, I never truly understood what it meant. I had not actively felt it, experienced it, embodied it, and thus, I had not understood it in its full depth.
Even though a part of me knew that I am suffering from mild anorexia, the other part of me did not want to acknowledge this. I refused to label myself as anorexic because giv.ing it a name made it concrete. There is a fair amount of inner resistance to be fought before you are ready to come to terms with the type of problem you seemingly meant to have as according to the general belief. Acknowledging and accepting the full extend of such problems is really not that easy as I can confirm.
Living life as perfectionist comes with its advantages and disadvantages. If we are not careful, we can easily end up being enslaved to our perfectionism.