Hugs. Hugs wrap you in a warmth that no fleece can compare with. Therefore, hugs are awesome. I hugged my flatmate, Amelia, today. However, this blissful moment was followed by the painful realisation that we only have ten days left to hug each other. In two-hundred-forty hours she will have moved out and left the country for good.
Since her departure waves from less than two weeks away, I am telling myself that I better fill the upcoming ten days with as many hugs as I can. Before she says goodbye to me and the flat, I shall gift her as much of my affectionate attention as possible.
The funny thing is that she and I only embarked on our journey of friendship two months ago. Two months does not seem long, especially in comparison to the number of months residing within an entire life time. Yet, two months can suffice to mine the emotions and memories which forge thick bonds of intimate trust.
From the moment she stepped into the door of the flat, I wanted to let her feel as homely and welcomed as if we had always been living together. To water our bonding, I readily shared all my space and belongings with her. I also seized all opportunities for a chit-chat.
Both of us committed unconditionally to our relationship as newly-settled flatmates, due to which we progressed past polite formalities in speedy tempo. At no point in our relationship as roommates did we perform the dance where one tip-toes around a new place to cautiously gauge the unknown environment.
Because our roommatehood started off so amazingly well, the sprouts of a great friendship were already appearing after one week into our shared journey. What followed were two months in which we slept under the same roof, drank from the same glasses, and washed our hair in the same shower.
During these two months, we never stopped investing into small but steady spikes of shared happiness. For example, we planned for regular quality time over food, walks, and Netflix; we surprised each other with sweet treats from the bakery or a direly-needed Irish coffee; and we supported each other through tough days. Even more, we clicked over our similar sense of overboard perfectionism as well as our slightly worrisome workaholic tendencies.
Most importantly though, we knotted our friendship’s twine through a deep well of understanding which provided for buckets of mutual respect and a communication as equals.
Rewinding all memories of her in my head, wets my eyes. I already know that I will cry when she parts ways with me in ten days. At the moment, the heavy sadness about her departure has not fully sunk in yet, and I am frankly not looking forward to when it does. No matter how often dearly-won friends have bid their farewell to me in the past, my heart cramps from the pain of parting every single time.
A certain, selfish side of me wishes my flatmate would not have to leave, so she and I could glue more memories into our album of a glorious friendship. At the same time, I would not dare convincing her to stay because I know that life takes her to new places for a good reason. At the end of the day, the pols of life centre everybody’s inner compass at unique cardinal directions. Therefore, we can only be grateful when an incredible soul decides to tag along for some miles on our own path.
Isn’t human connection truly beautiful?
Just think about it: the obscure manoeuvring of life hatches the coincidental meeting of you and a stranger – somebody who may or may not reappear in your everyday scenes. As you learn more about this stranger, their initial, vague contours then begin to gain definition and colour. From this intuitive liking, ties gradually emerge until trust and care solidify between the two of you. But no relationship that you scoop in life equals another because each of your connections draws upon a distinct combination of experiences and memories. It is exactly this abundance of knowledge and opinions which makes human connection beautiful.
Yet, the most spellbound feature of human connection is its ability to soar through all possible hues existing in the vast palette of emotions. On the one hand, our hearts race at unrivalled heights while tightly grabbing the hand of a beloved. On the other hand, daggers stab our hearts when a treasured bond cuts lose and we get separated from our dearest.
Having to let go of a close soul is painful, sometimes so unbearably painful that we lose our interest in rebuilding new connections. We might conclude that we will never again stumble upon a bond like the one we tragically lost. Even if we did, we would probably relive the pain of parting sooner or later, anyway – we think.
I am speaking from my own experience. Before my flatmate Amelia moved in two month ago, I shared the flat with another friend who I loved like a sister. I hated to see her go too. Back then, I assertively believed that nobody could fill her shoes, including Amelia who was taking her place in the flat…
…well, my presumptions prove wrong.
With Amelia’s goodbye now looming, the bittersweet, farewell-born ache remerges. But, in contrast to before, I am no longer fearing that my path could never intertwine with a similarly magical connection again. Instead, I confidently believe that beautiful human connections are guaranteed to meet me anew, especially considering what a hive of sweet affection Amelia and I accumulated for each other despite limited time.
The potential for plaiting new, beautiful relationships surrounds you every day, regardless of where you are in your life. It is up to you to hug this potential with an open heart and unbiased mind.